Well. Hello again. Not been too long since my last update I know, but I was sitting with my laptop eating lunch and drinking a cup of tea and I just thought why not upload some more. It's been a weird old week this one has, full of ups and downs, and quite frankly more downs than ups, I can't quite wait to return to Aber, I think it's 20 days left now? But yeah, please enjoy these even if parts are a little bit melancholy. Apologies, my emotional state is a bit of a broken rollercoaster.
-Fran- A Deadly Sin for Me, A Deadly Sin for You. Fluttering heart and large gulps these sins are dark deeper than secrets forgotten buried in my skin greedy for your touch and the taste of your lips it consumes me like a poison as if I was drinking sweet nectar from each kiss I’m drenched in emotions clinging to my skin rage that slithers like a snake envelops me in a shield I wear it sometimes like armor my pride falters at times stutters at your touch I fall shy at the thought tipping my head back and giving in to the feeling my pride falters then slinks back I’m envious of things at times like the way the sun shines on the cusp of your hair or the way I know I’m not good enough or pretty enough to fool anyone but myself I’m envious but anxious only angry at myself there’s no one else I could possibly blame nor anything anyone could do to help I lust like a fire searching for oxygen bright and wild untamed and not quiet but I wish I was I wish silence was my friend like it seems to be every other time but it feels like I’m lost at sea surrounded by waves 10 foot high and sharks that can see me and it’s daunting and strange especially when feelings dive down deep into that frothing ocean and drag me down with them but carefully willing still feeling shy and lost in this world I surround myself in these emotions love never felt so good. Illogical It’s a poison in my blood and a heartache in my head how am I supposed to see clearly when everything feels blurry it’s like a sickness in my bones spreading through my lungs and sometimes it gets so hard to breathe that I simply don’t want to it’s illogical to think that way to sink my own fleets and hide away but it’s never felt so hopeless before the world and its loneliness it’s never felt quite so empty before when you’re sitting at the edge and the world moves on one hopeless step at a time without rhythm or rhyme nor I it just feels like I’ve stopped running stopped trying to catch up now I’m staring at its back from my distant lonely perch as time passes by one long sigh at a time. Matter I should expect it I should’ve known really the small matter of my being not important there’s no need I hate it here but what should that matter it doesn’t it never did like the way I’m silenced and pushed down doesn’t matter no one hears me anyway I’m waiting though I’m waiting for the question or the end of a beautifully short era I’m waiting because it’s me so what should it matter there’s no change I can make that other people can’t do no happiness I can bring that someone else couldn’t too everything matters to me but maybe I don’t matter to any of you.
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Yikes. It sure has been a long time since I last posted on here, I only just managed to load the site on this stupid darn slow internet though, so please forgive me, I've been trying to load it for like a month now. I do have quite a few bits and bobs of poetry now though, so I guess that's something to be happy about.
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